


The extra piece nobody nededed

by Esme6



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depressed Niall, Gen, Happy Ending, I have issues, I killed every one, In a sick sort of way, Niall-centric, Self-Harm, Suicidal Niall, Suicide, im sorry, oblivious boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 05:45:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6553378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esme6/pseuds/Esme6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall had always known the day would come, the day when he would end his life, he was sick of being the extra piece nobody needed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The extra piece nobody nededed

 

Niall doesn't remember the first day he decided he had enough of his life, he can't remember the first time he sat in the pitch black crying uncontrollably, Niall doesn't know what got him here, but all he knows is, he's standing at the top of a bridge ready to jump into the icy waters below.

It wasn't a sudden thing, he didn't just wake up one day and hate his life, the hatred for himself was always there but he had learnt to live with it, accept the fact he was never going to be good enough, come to terms with the fact that one day for certain he would end his life.

Niall didn't have a difficult childhood, in fact, it was perfect, he had two loving parents and an older brother who cared and loved him more then he could of asked for, they were never the issue, he was, like most children he had his good days and his bad, but unlike most it wasn't the type of bad day that ended simply when the day was over, it was the kind of day that left him bedridden, unable to move or eat, it was they type of day that only resolved when a blade was sliced across his skin. 

Of course there was the good days, the days when he could feel, the days when the darkness and numbness disappeared and he could laugh with his family without a care in the world, the days when the blade stayed firmly in the pillowcase of his bed, the days when his cuts had time to heal and the skin remained untouched, for a while anyway.

They say nothing can stay hidden forever, for Niall this couldn't be more true, he had expected it really, there's only so long one can wear long sleeve t-shirts all year round, despite the fact he had expected it didn't make it any easier, he certainly didn't expect it to be in some dingy bathroom at some filthy little restaurant, everything had been going fine until Greg decided it was the perfect time to explain in full detail about how he aced every test and exam he ever took, it was one snide remark from his dad about the fact "that boy has never passed a test in his life" that led Niall to escaping the table, he had managed to reach the bathroom before he broke, horrible hiccup like sobs erupting from his small frame, shoulders trembling as the tears poured down his cheeks in a frightening pace, he thought he had locked the stupid door, but it turns out little dingy restaurants don't have working locks, he had barley reached the blade from his pocket when the door opened, it was Greg who found him, sitting on the dirty floor with a blade to his arm, he had expected shouting, maybe even a slap to the face, What he didn't expect however was for him to let out an almighty shout as he dived forward, successfully taking the blade from his grip as he collapsed to his knees and pulled the small boy to his chest, silent tears pouring from his eyes as he rocked his brother back n' forth, a repetitive litany of "I should've known" and "I'm so sorry" as he rocked the sobbing boy in his arms.

After that his family was never the same, his mother tried to understand, like all mothers she tried to help, but like most she failed, his father barley spoke to him any more, you could see the disappointment clear in his eyes, Niall didn't blame him, he was disgusted too, Greg tried to help in his own way, he attempted to get through to him but after awhile he grew tired and eventually gave up, Niall couldn't determine whether he liked that or not.

One Direction was and still is the best thing that could ever of happened, being put in the band with these other four boys, who over time became his brothers was still the highlight of his life, they were a distraction from the pain and hatred for a while, but like all distractions, it was only temporary, and after awhile he felt himself plummeting back in to the darkness of depression.

Niall knew he wasn't as talented or as attractive as the others, but he didn't mind, to these boys he could be whoever he wanted, to them he was some Irish kid with crooked teeth who ate and laughed way more then was considered normal, he didn't mind that, as long as they never found out the truth behind his smiles.

After awhile Niall was told frequently of his irrelevancy, his Twitter was plastered with people pointing out the fact he couldn't sing as good as the others, wasn't as attractive as the other members, he pretended it didn't hurt, he claimed he was fine, but the truth was that he wasn't, so once again Niall found release in the blade.

Niall always knew the day would come, the day when he would end his life, so when the time came he knew exactly what do, he wasn't scared he had been thinking of this day for as long as he could remember, he was ready, he was finally ready.

Niall found the perfect place, an old bridge above some icy water, he left four letters addressed to the boys who he now saw as his brothers, as his feet toed the edge he smiled to himself because they would be ok, everyone would be alright with out him.

There Niall jumped, falling in to the forever dark abyss.

The boys cried for their brother because they should of noticed, they should've tried to help, they could've saved him.

The boys were never the same, constantly blaming themselves for the death of their best friend, their brother.

The four men were killed on the fourth year anniversary of Niall's death, drinking heavily behind the wheel they were involved in a car accident which killed them instantly.

Everything was going to be alright.

The five boys were finally reunited.

 


End file.
